From Ponyville With Love Chapter Four

The Fierce Boxer And The Nurse

Over at the 'Come On Inn', the brothers were waiting in their room for Murray to return. Most of them were worried, but Grimoire had a very smug look on his face. None of the others had managed to find a date, and Murray was their last hope.

"What's taking him so long?" Sonny asked.

"Maybe he got lucky." Lars suggested.

"Or maybe he was blindsided by a bunch of ninja assassins from that one mob we ticked off in Chineigh, who somehow know this little town exists and that we're in it." Vinny suggested.

"I highly doubt it." Grimoire sniggered.

Just then, Murray entered the room, feeling proud of himself.

"What kept you?" Sonny asked.

"Oh, nothing." Murray smirked. "I just got me a date, is all!"

The six brothers immediately light up.

"Whoa-ho, way to go, bro!" Sonny cheered.

"You always did have a way with the mares, Murder." Salt chuckled.

"So, who's the lucky chick?" Slot asked.

"Only the mayor of this fine town." Murray boasted. "Mayor Mare, that's who."

This prompted a few of them to frown.

"A mayor, Murray?" Vinny frowned. "Out of all the mares in this town, you picked a mayor?"

"What? What's wrong?" Murray asked.

"Only everything, man!" Vinny growled. "You do not want to get mixed up with a mayor. They are constantly under the eye of the public, and we will have a scandal on our hooves if somepony were to figure out who we were!"

"Hey, 'mayor' and 'mare' sounds exactly the same!" Slot realized, completely off topic.

"I'm with Vinny, here." Lars agreed. "Dating a mayor is too risky! You might as well paint a sign that says 'Look at me, I'm dating your superior'."

"Now hold on a second!" Murray shot back. There were no rules saying which mare I can't take with me. I've chosen the mayor, and that's that! Besides, nopony said anything about a long-term relationship. It's just one date, after all."

"Well done, anyways, Murray." Grimoire smiled. "One down, five to go."

"Thank you, brother. I tell ya, that Mayor Mare is something else…" Murray smirked.

The rest of the brothers were a little rattled by Murray's success.

"We gotta try harder." Vinny whispered. "Don't want our own brother showin' us up."

"Agreed." Sonny nodded. "Tomorrow, we get dates for sure."

The next morning, the brothers split up, while Murray headed off to see Mayor, and Grimoire went to check on Daring.

Salt made his way to the marketplace. There, he tried to work a "cool and collected" style, strutting through the marketplace 'like a bad-flank' as he would put it. It was partially succeeding, as some mares were clearly impressed, but none of them went up to him.

'Come on, ladies, take the bait. I don't have all day.' Salt thought to himself, frustrated.

Soon, Salt felt his stomach grumbling.

'Ah, bollocks.'

Looking for something to eat, he happened upon an apple cart, being run by a scrawny colt with a red coat, purple mane, and green eyes with thick glasses. A shiny apple adorned his flank.

"An apple, if ya please." Slot handed the colt a bit.

"Here you go, sir." The colt handed over the apple.

Salt bit into the apple, enjoying it's sweet crunchiness. He continued scanning the marketplace for a prospective date, as he leaned against the counter.

"Is something the matter, sir?" The colt asked.

"If you must know, kid, I'm trying to pick up mares." Salt said sourly. "It ain't easy."

"I know what you're getting at." The colt nodded, looking glum. "There's this filly I really like, but I don't know how to talk to her."

"Filly trouble, huh?" Salt noted, looking more interested now. "Why don't you just come out and talk to her?"

"If only it was easy, sir." The colt sighed, "I mean, look at me. I'm a nerd."

"Ah, pish-posh, kid, being a nerd makes no difference in your problem. Just do what I would do, and march right up to that filly!" Salt boldly stated.

"Should I?" The colt asked.

"Yep." Salt nodded. "It's the stallion thing to do."

"But what if she doesn't feel the way I do?" The colt asked.

"Look... what's your name?" Salt continued.

"Apple Polisher, sir." The colt replied.

"Look, Polish, take it from a veteran when it comes to mare-chasing: girls love a guy with guts." Salt smiled. "Trust old Salt here, you show that kind of guts, chances are she'll respect you for it and go out with you."

"Really?" Polisher smiled.

"Really." Salt smiled. "Mares love a stallion with confidence, and when you're through, she will do anything for you… and I do mean anything/"

"Uh, okay..." Polisher said awkwardly. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid." Salt smiled, flicking over another bit. "How about another for the road?"

"You got it." Polisher handed over the apple.

"Thanks, kid." Salt smiled as he turned to leave. "You just think about our little chat, 'kay?"

With a small nod from the colt, Salt left. As soon as he did, Applejack, who came back from picking up more apples, walked up to Polisher.

"Who wuz yer friend, nephew?" She asked.

"That was Salt." Polisher smiled. "A real cool fella."

As Salt left the marketplace, he heard something.

"Help!"

A white-coated, pink-maned mare was being cornered by a group of unruly stallions.

Immediately, Salt's blood boiled.

"Not in the same town I'm in, ya don't." Salt growled.

Salt, while being a part of a crime syndicate (no matter how noble the cause was), had a strong sense of justice, and though he might consider himself a hypocrite for saying it, he had zero tolerance for no-gooders.

"Hey!" He called, as he walked over. "Over here!"

The stallions turned around and saw the white stallion approaching them with anger in his eyes.

"Who the heck is that?" One of the thugs asked.

"Some punk." The tallest of the group growled, obviously the leader. "Don't worry about it."

"We got your back, pal." Another thug sniggered.

"He come over here and we'll bust his flank." A thug bragged.

"What do you want?" The leader thug asked sourly.

"Your life… I was thinking about taking it." Salt sneered, as he approached them.

"Is that right?" The leader chuckled darkly.

"But I don't do well in tight places, so going to prison worries me." Salt shrugged, "You shouldn't hassle young mares."

"Is that so?" The leader growled.

Yeah. Offenders of your kind aren't looked upon kindly by the law." Salt pointed out. "Let alone by yours truly."

"Very funny." The leader thug smirked. "Now beat it."

"No can do, pal." Salt glared.

"Suit yourself." The thug growled. "Let's teach 'im a lesson, boys!"

"Stupid Equestrians." Salt rolled his eyes in anger.

Salt suddenly chucked his apple into the air, and as soon as he did, he punched the lead thug three times, spending him sprawling.

The airborne apple landed in a gutter as it began rolling down the pipe.

Another jumped on him from behind, Salt grabbed his hoof, twisted it, then flipped him onto the ground.

The apple then bounced off the gutters and bounced off a nearby awning.

Salt gave another a karate chop to the neck, then tossed him aside.

The apple bounced off another awning…

He struck another thug in the stomach, then the groin, then grabbed his face and threw him down.

The apple then bounced off yet another awning, sending it up high in the sky...

As another thug charged, Salt caught him a clothesline move.

The apple flew up fast, catching a passing by 'wall-eyed' Pegasus by surprise, before it began it's descent towards the ground.

The leader thug, getting back up, charged at Salt, ready to punch him. Salt grabbed the punch, kicked him in the back knee, and then threw him down.

All the thugs were in intense pain, as the lead thug groaned, struggling to get back up. Salt let out a huff as he held out a hoof and caught the apple, then took a bite out of it. The mare was quite shocked by what she had just witnessed.

"Please, at least give me a workout, you bloody wankers." Salt smirked.

"I, uh..." The mare gasped. "Th-thank you... It's not often you see a stallion ready to protect a total stranger. Let alone take on a group of thugs"

"No problem, pretty lady." Salt smiled. "Happy to do it. You okay?"

"I'm fine." The mare nodded.

"Good to hear." Salt smiled. "The name's Salt. And you are?"

"I'm Redheart." The mare replied.

"Cute name. How about you and I take this talk somewhere less-" Salt suggested.

The lead pony pulled out a knife and let out a battle cry.

"Look out!" Redheart pointed.

Salt quickly about faced and hoof-punch the thug in the snout.

"Take that, woo!" He cheered. "You are untouchable, Salt 'Ter-mare-nator' Napoleon!"

"Uh... Salt..." Redheart pointed.

Salt glanced at her oddly, as he then noticed a knife in his shoulder.

"Gah... what the..." He grasped his shoulder. "What the heck is this?! Why the buck would Princess Twilight let her own freakin' town ponies carry knives on them?! Doesn't anypony know they shouldn't play with knives?!" He gulped profusely, and sweated, as he glanced at his bloodied hoof. "Oh crud, oh crud..."

"Are you going to be alright?" Redheart asked.

Salt glanced at Redheart, and tried to play it cool, though the sweat and trembling made it hard to do so.

"Oh, s-sure." He scoffed. "It's just a flesh wound. I'll be alrighhh…."

Salt suddenly collapsed.

"Oh, dear." Redheart gasped.

Redheart pulled some bandages out of her saddlebag, binding Salt's wound. With considerable strain, she lifted him up and carried to her house, which was nearby. She put him on her couch, and waited.

Salt groaned as he finally awakened.

"What happened?" He groaned.

"You got stabbed in the shoulder, that's what." Redheart declared. "Good thing I always keep some bandages handy, or else you would bled out."

"Oh, right." Salt nodded. "Heh, guess that makes us even, huh?"

"I should say so." Redheart nodded. "Let me get you something. You must be famished."

Redheart went to the kitchen, coming back with some cucumber sandwiches.

"Thanks, Red." Salt said through a mouthful of sandwich. "'Preciate the hospitality."

"It's the least I can do after what you did for me." Redheart smiled.

"What about what you did for me?" Salt asked. "You just happened to have bandages on you?"

"I'm a nurse." Redheart answered. "I like to be prepared."

"Well, aren't you a regular Florence Neightingale?" Salt smiled.

Redheart smiled back. Salt stared for a moment, taken back by her warmth and beauty.

'Dang, she's pretty cute. Sweet, hot, and resourceful. Maybe I should…'

"Is something wrong?" Redheart asked.

"No." Salt smiled. "Everything's... perfect."

They ate in silence for a while. It only took Salt that long to make a decision.

"So... I know this may seem out of the blue, but I'm invited to this wedding this weekend." He told Redheart. "Maybe you'd like to be my date?"

"Direct, aren't we?" Redheart noted. "Well..."

"Please?" Salt begged. "Not to hold anything over your head, but I did save you back there."

"Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt." Redheart nodded. "At least I know I'll be safe with you..."

Salt started blushing.

"Yeah, well..." He smiled. "Guess I'd better get back to my hotel room.

"Wait." Redheart stopped him. "Do you think you could possibly... stay for the night?"

"Now who's being direct?" Salt teased, giving a wry grin. "I'd be glad to."

Meanwhile, back in Bitaly...

Caboose was in the mansion's training grounds, getting in shape for a wedding. There was a rather... unique obstacle course, filling with swinging weights, pitfalls, and even a fire pit. Caboose spotted Slot's punching bag.

"Salt always says 'don't touch my bag, Caboose'!" Caboose recalled. "But Salt's not here... Okay, time to get pumped!"

He crack his neck, and let out a heavy sigh. Then he began punching the bag.

"Ah-um! YEAH!" He punched slowly, before hitting it at a more constant rate. "Fudge! I hate it when readers don't get references!"

He began punching it faster, and started chanting.

"A! X! A! X! A! X! A! X! A..." He gave the bag an uppercut. "Y!"

The bag went flying, as Caboose cheered.

"ALRIGHT!" He yelled.

The bag then flew back and hit Caboose, knocking him into the course.

"Oh, horseapples!" He yelped as he fell into the course. "No-no-no-no-no-no-no!" He shouted, as he was thrown through the swinging weights, over a pitfall, and eventually into the fire pit…

"Oh boy…" Caboose gulped.

The field suddenly erupted in flame. Caboose crawled to safety, though in severe pain. He pulled out his slightly burned list.

"Tried out Salt's punching bag. Check." He coughed. "Achieved Level Zero... somehow... check. Next item..." He patted out the flame on his mane. "Seek medical help and demolish the obstacle course..."

Caboose fainted.