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Cutie Mark Crusaders Royale Chapter Eight

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My Dad Vs. Your Dad

The Royal Guards were having their annual marksmanship test. As always, Hurricane had come to cheer on her dad.

"Go, dad!" She cheered.

"Your dad's in the Royal Guard, too?" An older, light-gray Pegasus colt with an armored hoof Cutie Mark approached her.

"Yep." Hurricane pointed to Caboose. "That's him, there."

"Well, my dad's over there." The colt pointed to Iron Hooves.

"Your dad's Iron Hooves?!" Hurricane gasped, noticing for the first time the resemblance. "For reals?"

"Sure is." The colt nodded. "I'm Gauntlet."

"Hurricane." Hurricane smiled. "And my dad's gonna own this test."

"I don't know about that." Gauntlet smirked. "My dad is the captain, after all, which makes him the best Royal Guard around..."

"Not necessarily." Hurricane declared. "Besides, my dad's the lieutenant."

"Which is a fancy way of saying 'second place'." Gauntlet sneered.

"Oh, yeah?" Hurricane glared. "I bet my dad could take yours in a real contest any day of the week! Except for Sundays; He likes to sleep in."

"I'll take that bet." Gauntlet growled.

Some of the Royal Guards' wives had come to watch also. Not only was Daring among them, but also Gusty, the wife of Iron Hooves. She was a white mare with a blue mane, green eyes and a wind swirl Cutie Mark.

"I love watching Iron at work." Gusty sighed. "Who knew he could make wielding a crossbow so attractive?"

"Yeah, there's just something about a stallion in armor..." Daring chuckled.

After the test ended, Hurricane and Gauntlet rushed to meet their dads.

"Nice work out, lieutenant." Iron Hooves told Caboose. "Nice to see becoming a family stallion hasn't dulled your aim."

"Thanks, cap." Caboose smiled.

"Dad, dad!" Hurricane called.

"What is it, dear?" Caboose asked.

"Gauntlet said his dad is better than you!" Hurricane glared at Gauntlet.

"Oh, he did, did he?" Iron frowned.

"It's true, though." Gauntlet shrugged. "You're the best there is, dad."

"That's not what being a Royal Guard is all about, son." Iron declared. "It's about being part of a regiment."

"Yeah, but you're the best part!" Gauntlet insisted.

"No, my dad is!" Hurricane declared. "And to prove it, we're going to have a little contest."

"Now, kids..." Iron sighed.

"Eh, why not?" Caboose shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Very well..." Iron rolled his eyes. "But let's make it fast."

"Great!" Hurricane and Gauntlet cheered.

The four gathered at the shooting range, as Iron and Caboose took their positions.

"Okay, let's see who scores the most bullseyes!" Gauntlet declared.

"Knock him dead, dad!" Hurricane cheered.

Caboose and Iron took aim and fired a volley of bolts at the targets. After both crossbows were emptied, the two children inspected the target... only to see that they both scored the same amount of bullseyes.

"Whoa... they're the same!" Hurricane gasped.

"That can't be..." Gauntlet muttered. "Your dad can't be that good with a crossbow."

"Have you seen my dad's collection of crossbow catalogs?" Hurricane smirked. "He has more than my uncle Murray, and he's the ultimate markspony in all of Bitaly!"

"Well, guess that settles it!" Iron smiled, "Me and Caboose are evenly matched."

"Not so fast!" Hurricane held up a hoof. "It's obvious that this is way too easy. Anypony can hit a stationary target... but can they do it... blindfolded?"

"Blindfolded?" Caboose asked. "Isn't that kinda dangerous?"

"Course not." Gauntlet shrugged. "But if you're scared, feel free to forfeit."

"My dad's not scared of anything!" Hurricane yelled.

"Then why doesn't he prove it?" Gauntlet taunted.

"He will!" Hurricane scowled. "Right, dad?"

"Well... Caboose mumbled.

"Great!" Hurricane smiled. "Let's go!"

A short while later, another challenge was set; Both Caboose and Iron were tasked with using their crossbows to hit the bullseye of a target... while blindfolded (unable to find blindfolds, the kids covered their fathers' eyes with their hooves).

"And... shoot!" Hurricane declared.

Caboose fired his crossbow, hitting the bullseye.

"Yes!" Hurricane cheered.

"Your turn, dad." Gauntlet declared.

Iron fired his own crossbow, also hitting the bullseye.

"It's a tie again." He smiled. "Can we go back to work now?"

"Not yet." Hurricane frowned.

"Okay, we need more duress." Gauntlet declared. "Shooting at the target with noises..."

"Huh?" Caboose asked.

"It's like this..." Gauntlet started to explain.

Another short while later, Hurricane had brought her fellow Crusaders over.

"So... you want us to yell while your dads try to hit a target?" Miracle asked.

"Yep." Hurricane nodded.

"Mind if I ask why?" Vito scowled.

"So we know who's dad is best!" Hurricane declared.

"What does it matter who's 'best'?" Pureblood asked. "And why are you trying to prove something to somepony you just met?"

"Because, that's why!" Hurricane yelled. "Now get into position!"

Sighing, the other Crusaders got into place. Pureblood and Vito yelled at Caboose, and Miracle and Hurricane at Iron.

"What you gonna do?!" Vito taunted. "You're a filthy little stallion, aren't ya?!"

"Yeah, you suck!" Pureblood called. He then frowned. "Too much?!"

"No!" Caboose fired. "You're good!"

"Your coat is perfect!" Hurricane told Iron. "Your mane looks like it was spun by Rumpelstiltskin! Why are you so under-paid?!"

"Yeah-huh?" Miracle did a double-take.

"Huh?" Iron lowered his bow.

The score ended up the same.

"Gosh dang it!" Gauntlet griped. "Tied again?!"

"Time for a tie-breaker-breaker!" Hurricane declared. "...But what?"

"Okay, I got it." Gauntlet smiled. "Both of you, leapfrog Vito and Pureblood, barrel roll, then pop up and shoot. How's that sound?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Blueblood walked onto the shooting range.

"That sounds like a safety code violation." He declared.

"Come on, Blueblood, we're trying to settle something here." Hurricane groaned.

"I'm sorry, but as prince, I will require you all to vacate the shooting range... sorry." Blueblood apologized.

"Killjoy..." Gauntlet said under his breath.

"What was that?" Blueblood frowned.

"Nothing, sir." Gauntlet said. As Blueblood left, he added "Stick in the mud..."

"Looks like we'll never know who's number one..." Caboose sighed.

"Oh, no, dad, we are going to settle this... we just need to try something else..." Hurricane smiled. "Ooh, I know! One lap around the gardens! First one to cross the finish line wins!"

"But Sweetie, we have to get back to work." Caboose groaned.

"Pleaaase, daddy?" Hurricane put on her best puppy dog face.

"Oh, fine." Caboose groaned.

"Your daughter has a killer sad face." Iron whispered to her.

"Tell me about it. And I thought my ex Peaches Cream had me wrapped around her hoof..." Caboose shook his head.

They set up a starting point, and the race began. Unbelievably, Caboose and Iron crossed the finish line at the same time.

"No way!" Gauntlet groaned, "My dad is way more athletic than yours! That can't be!"

"Well, Gauntlet, when you accidentally put an animal attraction spell on yourself, you learn to try and outrun everything you can." Caboose explained, while panting profusely. "Either way, it's still a tie."

"Oh, come on!" Hurricane yelped. "Next challenge!"

They came up with the challenge of fixing two broken down carriages. Once again, they finished at the same time.

"…And done!" Caboose and Iron said, setting their wrenches down at the same time.

"Tie." Pureblood announced.

"Dammit!" Caboose and Iron cursed.

"This is so unreal..." Gauntlet cringed.

"Another tie." Hurricane groaned.

"Good thing my cousin Armando owns a scrap shop in Mexicolt..." Caboose muttered.

"Wait... what?" Iron asked.

"Nothing." Caboose said quickly.

"I don't know about you guys, but I've got better things to do then watch the world's longest stalemate." Vito said sourly. "I'm outta here."

"For once, Vito's right." Pureblood agreed.

"Sorry, Hurri." Miracle sighed. "I've got stuff to do."

"Fine, traitors!" Hurricane yelled. "We can win without you! Next challenge!"

"How about keeping afloat in water while holding soldier gears and a crossbow overhead?" Gauntlet suggested.

"Yeah, sure." Hurricane shrugged. "But what kind of water?"

Shine and Celestia were on their way to their royal bathchamber.

"Ready for a... thorough scrubbing, my dear?" Shine chuckled.

"I certainly am." Celestia giggled.

They entered the room... only to find Caboose and Iron standing in the middle of the bath, with Hurricane and Gauntlet watching.

"What the... what the heck?!" Shine gasped. "Why are you two in our giant royal bath?"

"Sorry, Mr. Shine, but we had to prove which of our dads is the best." Hurricane explained.

"We couldn't use the shooting range, so we had to find another skill for them to do." Gauntlet added.

"Don't worry, your majesties, we will be out of your way in no time!" Iron assured them. "I think Lieutenant Caboose is about to quit!"

"Ha! My trophies in synchronized swimming say you don't know what you are talking about!" Caboose boasted.

"The suspense is killing me." Celestia deadpanned.

"Get out!" Shine yelled. "This is my and cherryblossom's private time!"

"But sir, we're still tied!" Gauntlet begged.

"I don't care." Shine frowned. "You'll just have to settle this elsewhere!"

"But Shine-" Caboose pleaded.

"Celestia, would you please…" Shine urged.

"Gladly." Celestia used her magic to heat up the water. Both Caboose and Iron were gritting their teeth in pain from the heat.

"Holy... why aren't you getting out?!" Shine spluttered. "The water is scorching hot!"

"What... this?" Iron said through gritted teeth, trying not to scream. "This... is... nothing. I get singed by dragons all the time..."

"Ha..." Caboose seethed. "I'm so hot, coals walk on me!"

"What does that even mean?!" Iron gasped in pain.

"I don't know!" Caboose screeched, as they both hopped out of the water, their butts steaming and them screaming.

"Tie again..." Hurricane sighed. "Ooh, wait, I've got a good one!"

Hurricane's idea turned out to be a cooking contest. A pregnant Mist, along with Blue Blazes and Constell, were judging, as Caboose and Iron made two meals. Iron had made a stir-fried rice and dandelion dish with radish sauce, while Caboose had settled for hayburgers. The judges tasted the food.

In the dining room, Mist, now sporting a two-month baby bump on her belly, was at the table, alongside with her fiancée Blue Blazes, and Constell.

"Thank you three for helping us with this." Gauntlet nodded.

"No problem." Mist shrugged. "I've been hankering for a snack."

"Anything for one of my best customers." Blue winked at Hurricane.

"As for me, I was just bored." Constell admitted.

"Yeah, I want to see your dad try and beat my dad in cooking." Hurricane bragged. "He was taught by one of the greatest cooks in Bitaly... my uncle Sonny!"

"We'll see about that!" Gauntlet growled.

Caboose and Iron came in, holding silver trays, as they set them down in front of the three.

"Okay, we have prepared two dishes for you, you three decide which is better." Iron explained.

"What are the dishes exactly?" Blue Blazes asked.

"Well, I don't know about Caboose, but I have prepared rice, stir-fried to perfection, topped with dandelion flowers and sweet radish sauce. Old family recipe." Iron smiled, as he unveiled his tray to be as such.

"Ooh..." The three judges expressed interest.

"As for me, I went with a simple yet classic recipe." Caboose smirked as he revealed his dish... to be a simple hayburger. "Two buns, a hay patty cooked thoroughly, topped with lettuce, tomato, two pickles, and to add personal flavor, ketchup exported from Bitaly."

"Bon appetit." Iron declared, as both bowed away.

The three judges took a bite from both dishes, and after a few minutes of deliberation…

"Caboose." Blue declared, prompting him to seize up. "I have to hand it to you. I've had a lot of hayburgers growing up and traveling with my parents, and admittedly, I'd gotten sick of them..." Caboose cringed. "And you somehow restored my faith in them. Never before had I seen a burger so well done. I don't know how Bitaly did it, but the ketchup was amazing! I vote for you, man."

Caboose smirked with pride.

"Iron." Constell smiled, catching the captain's attention. "I admired the dedication you had put into this dish, and it showed. The radish sauce was a risky play, but it paid out in the end, and with dandelions to sweeten the deal, this dish is to die for. I vote for you, captain."

Iron did a little hoof bump. Then everypony turned to Mist.

"Well, Caboose and Iron... both dishes were obviously done well, and there was something unique that I loved in both of them... so I vote for... both of you." Mist announced. The others looked at her in shock. "What? I'm pregnant... and hungry!"

"Well, that's over with. I have to go, I promised I'd meet Luxury for coffee." Constell got up.

"And I need to read up on all the books on raising foals." Mist declared, getting up as well. "Though I could use a handsome stud to give me a back rub…" She winked at Blue.

"Right with you, hon." Blue chuckled.

The judges left, as Iron and Caboose, as well as Hurricane and Gauntlet were stupefied.

"Did they seriously tie again?" Gauntlet groaned.

"Can't be!" Hurricane shook her head. "Nopony can beat my dad in cooking!"

"That's ridiculous!" Gauntlet snorted. "Taste my dad's cooking!"

"Not unless you taste mine!" Hurricane demanded.

The two take a bite out of each others' father's meal.

"Mmm..." Hurricane smiled.

"Mmm..." Gauntlet savored the taste.

"Okay..." Iron said.

"This is gettin' awkward." Caboose admitted.

The next day, Daring and Gusty saw Caboose and Iron walking slowly through the corridors of the castle, both looking tired.

"Wow, you both look awful." Daring declared.

"Hurricane and Gauntlet proposed a constellation counting contest to see who's the better navigator." Caboose explained.

"Yeah, and we tied... although Caboose cheated." Iron added.

"I'm telling you, left-hooved corkscrew is a thing!" Caboose said hotly.

"No, it's not." Iron countered.

"Yeah, it's not." Daring agreed.

"Ugh..." Caboose groaned.

"That's why you didn't come in last night?" Gusty asked. "Because of some ridiculous contest the kids cooked up?"

"We had no choice." Iron sighed. "They just won't stop."

"They're waiting for us right now." Caboose groaned.

"Why don't one of you just take a dive?" Daring asked.

"I can't disappoint Hurricane like that!" Caboose declared.

"Me neither." Iron nodded. "If I'm going to lose, I'll lose fair and square."

Out in the courtyard, they were playing the latest challenge: Rock, paper, scissors.

"One, two, three, shoot." Iron and Caboose chanted, both producing 'rock'. "Dammit."

"We even have flawless roshambo strategies." Caboose declared.

"We've been at this for thirty hours straight." Iron yawned.

"Yeah... this is getting boring." Hurricane sat down. "I'm tired."

"Wait, that's it!" Gauntlet exclaimed. "Whoever falls asleep first loses and gets something written on their forehead."

"Sleep deprivation. I like your way of thinking, son." Iron smiled.

"The only question is where?" Caboose muttered.

"How about here?" Hurricane gestured to the bench. "You two can sit here, while we watch."

"Good. It's high time we settle this." Iron sighed.

"My thoughts exactly." Caboose yawned.

Caboose and Iron sat on a nearby bench, trying their best to fight the tiredness creeping over them. Hurricane and Gauntlet sat on another bench, watching them. After a while, it started to get boring, and the two drifted into idle conversation.

"I had no idea your dad could fix a carriage." Hurricane declared.

"Me neither." Gauntlet smiled. "Your dad's pretty awesome."

"Yours, too." Hurricane smiled back.

"I've always been so proud of my dad for being captain." Gauntlet declared.

"I'm proud of my dad, too." Hurricane agreed. "Guess that's something we've got in common."

"Sure is." Gauntlet agreed. "That, and comin' up with contest ideas. Good call on the cooking contest, by the way."

"Thanks." Hurricane grinned. "And that water contest was a stroke of genius."

"I try." Gauntlet nodded.

They continued talking as the contest wore on, gradually losing interest in their conflict. At one point, the exhausted Caboose glanced over to see Gauntlet and Hurricane sleeping close to each other.

"Aw... my baby girl's first boy crush." Caboose smiled. "Look, Iron-" He noticed Iron was asleep, leaning on him. "Huh... I win..." He smiled... then took out a marker and drew "Caboose Rulez" on Iron's face. "Sorry, captain, but rules are rules."

Caboose slowly got up, and walked over and took his sleeping daughter onto his back as the tired father walked home. Back at the bench, with nothing holding him up, Iron fell over.

"Ow." Iron said drowsily.
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DiamondDancerForever's avatar
If Gauntlet Is Mentioned Sort Of In Chapter 13 Of the young prince wouldn't he be WAY older Than Hurricane?